We're All Fools In Need Too Foolish to Believe

Dinosaur Zombie Showdown.

Don't do it. Never see it...NO MATTER WHAT.

Trust me. The Human Centipede will break your brain and make you feel horrifically changed.

Hello, gentlemen!

Gentlemen, hello!

I was the middle part of this human centipede between Tim...

and DVan!
And thank heavens...because these dudes shared in my terror and disgust.

Best part: Tim watching it through his fingers and DVan stating over and over again, "Human Centipede, the Human fucking Centipede".

These guys are golden gods...special cases of the very best kind.


This is my other special case. Baby S.
I'm so proud of him. He wrote a book. A fucking dissertation. It's gleaming, clean, and annotated and footnoted like nobody's business.
I held it in my hands...it's really magnificent.


Yeah, yeah, I know.
I've been seriously MIA, right?

Obviously, I do that from time to time. Sometimes living really does become so riveting that I can't avoid it. I have to do it and nothing else.
I'll tell you all about it, I promise. It's a long story, but I'll spill.

Monkey wrenchin'.


ARISE GOOD GUYS CLUB!

Spring came to Denver.
It was pretty much the best one I've ever been a part of.
I know not everyone loved it...but I don't care about everyone.

When the sunshine comes spraying through the trees light and lovely and the breeze catches the soft hair on your face...it's mesmerizing.

It was the kind of spring that reminded you how cool and fucking fun Summer is.
Running around in dimly lit streets-the air so warm you want to swallow it.
Catching crawdads like these kids and willing the sun back into the sky so your mom never has to call you inside.

Yep, it's summer, jerks!
Get into it!

OFFICE EXPERIMENT #4 - Dave & Busters!

Have you ever been to a Dave & Buster's?
Normally, I might discourage you from going to one of these places.
It's actually sort of terrible - like a Chucky Cheese for adults.

Still, with my trusty co-worker Adam...I was able to explore Dave & Buster's.
And here's what we found!
(P.S. I'm sure you're as disappointed as I am that Adam isn't wearing his Snoop Dogg cargo pants!)

Adam is a blast to do these office experiments with!
He totally makes me laugh and I totally make him laugh - perfect combination, right?

So, Dave & Buster's is like a big arcade for grown ups.
Tons of pool tables, shuffleboard...and the the coup de grace is the ridiculous game room...and that's where we were headed.

Debating having my next birthday here.
I fear that no one would come.

Sorry, no matter how old you are...this looks totally fucking fun!

So, when we entered the game room...I'll admit...I felt a little giddy.
Clearly, Adam did too.

It's obvious that I woo'd.

The motto at Dave & Buster's is "Eat, Drink, Play".
We intended to get with the program pronto!

I like to party!

And they had Modelo on tap!
However, even with the happy hour discount...that beer was ridiculously expensive.

Let's just say, I prefer dollar beer night at The Bank.

We decided that both of us would do the Eat & Play Combo. This guarantees you a meal and a "power card" filled with $10.00 for gaming.
POWER CARD!

We were in it to win it!

My feminine co-worker.

Adam's masculine co-worker.

Can you say ''sub par"?
Yeah, I don't think people go to Dave & Buster's for the food.
And to think this was the LEAST offensive thing on the menu!

Thank goodness the Dave & Buster experience isn't all about the food!
THEY HAVE SKEEBALL!

Skeeball is one of my ALL TIME MOST FAVORITE THINGS ON THE PLANET!

I can't really say that I'm good at it, but who is "good" at skeeball?

I'm sure there's a finesse...a trick to getting your ball into the 100 point spots...
If I played more, I guarantee you, I would have that finesse.

This would be the ONLY reason I would ever return to Dave & Buster's.



This machine perplexed me.

The game is called 'High Roller', but she looks like she should have been on 'Dynasty'.

We played 'House of the Dead III".
It's intense and made me sweat.



This game was so dumb.
But for some reason, standing in front of it, you want to win.


You want to pull the lever, press the button, and win!
The spectacle draws you in!

And we never won the big prize.
We always came close...

Right next to the 500...

But we never hit it!

Driving games are cool!
I always liked them as a kid...before I actually learned to drive.


I couldn't tell you if either Adam or I won though.

I was too busy trying to stay on the road and not wreck into other cars and walls.

That coat makes my arms look like hams.

We were running out of time and credits...
Our plan was to see 'Legion' after we were done playing at Dave & Buster's.
But we couldn't pass up doing a Foreigner song and Heart song before we left.

We shredded, of course!
Adam is actually in a band so he did pretty good.


Me? I have moves...but sometimes I get more into my moves than actually playing my guitar.

We had fun! I mean, Dave & Buster's is expensive and ridiculous. You feel like a kid in a candy store...literally, but then you realize how much it's costing you.

Seeing 'Legion' sort of felt like that too.
It was hard to watch because it was so terrible - and knowing that I'd paid $10.00 to see it was equally disappointing.

The only redeeming quality of the movie is that Paul Bettany is total eye candy.


'Legion' got a thumbs down from us. We keep wondering if we'll ever see a movie together that doesn't suck.

All in all, though, this office experiment ruled! Thumbs UP!
Still, we decided next time that we'll be on the hunt for the best happy hour deal instead of a Power Card.