Every Saturday, I go to Geez Louise, drink a mocha, eat a breakfast sandwich, and try to work on the handful of projects that I'm trying to complete.
And every Saturday...Simone is there.
And every Saturday...she tells me that I need to get my tarot cards read.
I have to admit...I'm skeptical. I own a tarot deck and it generally seems like you can make anything apply to the cards that turn up. And, in general, we're all struggling with the same shit in our lives - if the cards say something about loneliness it will probably apply to 50% of the people being "read". You may be lonely because you're single or you may be lonely because you're in a lonely relationship - it's still loneliness...
I guess, because I'd never have anyone do it before I decided to let Simone have at it.
Admittedly, I was sort of nervous too. Sometimes it's scary to resign yourself to signs or truths...whether delivered by life or a tarot card reading.
I can't remember if I picked my cards first or if Simone started to "read" me first...but I'll break down what she told me...and let you decide what felt most important to me.
-She saw no men or children "standing up" for me, but said that there were women. She sort of referred to them as angels. She said there were no children standing up for me because I wasn't ready.
-She asked me who did my eyebrows because they looked great. I commented that I did. (This was not part of the reading, but I thanked her anyway.)
-She told me not to have oral sex with men I don't know. (WHOA!) Apparently, I have a blockage in my throat chakra.
The cards I pulled were the V of cups, the VIII of wands, and the II of wands.
-She told me I need to stop managing my feelings and, instead, start FEELING my feelings.
To honor and be humbled by the emotions.
-She told me not to doubt the commitment of others just because they don't share my same passion for things.
-She told me to be conscious of pruning and culling my passions and focus on what is most important.
-She told me not to cut or dye my hair.
Then she asked me to pull another card. She said that I should just feel which card to pull...that I would experience a tingle or a heat sensation on the palm of my hand (which I did not), but when I asked her, "What if it takes a really long time for me to figure out what card?"...She sighed and said, "See! Stop managing this. Just feel it!".
So, I tried again.
And I pulled Justice XI.
-She immediately asked me, "Why do you feel like you're a bad person?"
She told me to stop questioning whether I am a good person and told me that I operate from the highest moral center. She told me to have faith in it and my values.
-She told me I don't have a need for a white knight.
Slowly, I could see that the reading was over and she started winding down.
She told me in the next 11 weeks that I need to remember that I'm a good person, she mentioned something about respect and being willing to tell people "you have the right to be wrong in my world".
She alluded to what I have and what I can do - and, like the V of cups, I still have cups behind me that are full.
I shouldn't let disappointment get the best of me or let it hamper my creative drive.
And finally, that I should start bubbling - putting a bubble around myself to keep people from having access to me.
I don't really want to address what did and didn't seem significant...but if you know me, you will probably be able to discern the most appropriate of her assessments.
What I will say is that sometimes you need to be reminded, by a stranger, about things that your friends or family won't or can't tell you.
Sometimes you need someone, disconnected from your heart, to reveal truths about life that turn your head around, or off, or just rattle it a little.
Oh, and she told me I walk funny.
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